Where common hypocrites dwell

                                                                                  

I do bang hard. Really hard. It’s not that I usually do that thing, but if I do, I’ll make sure that pain will be served violently. Sometimes I feel relief hearing pain, cries, moans, groans and suffering. They’re like music to my ear. My medicine, ecstasy, therapy, desire, fetishes and my guilty pleasures.

I like to see fights but refuse to be part of them. I like to see gore and violent movies. I love to see bloodbath and imagine myself doing the kill. I pause those throat cutting scenes during movie marathons. Replay erotic scenes when I’m alone. Have my launch together with my favorite cannibalism movies. And oh. I volunteer on cutting pigs’ throats during occasions and imagine that I’m doing it to a human being.

There are times when I tend to go away from the norms. Deviate what was tasked for me. Defy things and do them my own way. I also do illegal things because for me, it’s part of growing up on the wilderness. It’s like a normal thing.

But to tell you. I hurt. I feel pain. I feel all those shame of unacceptance. I feel death. I do have emotions like normal people do. I tremble when I see fights. I cry when I feel the drama. I love? Yes, that must be a question. If love means being with someone physically, then move me out from the list. If love is being with people that you care most, maybe. But if it’s being yourself, then that’s another questionable detail.

But let’s not play games here. I know that it’s not just me. I know that you too are feeling the same way as I do. You just tend to hide from the reality that you are mad. You are bad. You are crazy. That you have the evilest thing in you that awaits to be orgasmed and to see the world. I know that something in you sweats for worldly desires and urges for the taste of flesh. Not that you eat them, you unite with them (if you know what I really mean). You just don’t know, but the evil in you is winning. It’s taking over you. Overpowering. You may not notice it but the people around you do. Trust me, they do. Because that’s their job and you just can’t stop them. You can’t stop them because you share the same hypocrisy and foolishness. You can’t stop the plague that consumes you gradually until you commit to be part of it.

Sometimes, if not often, we are being inconsiderate to ourselves. We are given the freedom but we are not using it. We tend to isolate and limit ourselves to a certain point, regardless of the circumstances. We tend to mock the innocent but we are fools for ourselves on the first place. We know that we are wicked but we try to trap ourselves within the corners of self-reliance and convince that we are sane. Sometimes, that’s how things work.

How wonderful. How quaint. How foolish the intellectuals are. How funny the educated must be. How ridiculous the so-called innocent people are.

Bottomline, you may think that I’m a sadist or whatever. You may think that I’m not normal. A disordered individual. Disturbed maybe? So be it. I just don’t give a damn to those narrow minded inconsiderate delusional fools. Those hypocrites. Those self centered liars. The pretenders. If you’re one of them, then I’m sorry. I mean, why won’t you just try to accept the fact that people like me or people like you do exist? You may not know it or consciously be aware with that saddening fact but the truth is, we coexist. And there is no debate with that. Thus, an argument is not needed to prove that hypocrisy and foolishness is just around the corner, and that the human vessel is where common hypocrites dwell and win. End of story. 

Just a Matter of Inflicting and Accepting

                                                                                     

I ain’t writing this piece to bash Mayweather. I can’t call him names because I already did that after the fight—and that’d be too much of a flattery for him. I ain’t writing this to expose how dirty he is, coz you saw the whole thing. I’m writing this as a concerned citizen, watching things on my own way of perspective. Hope I ain’t killing your joy (say what?).

I hate boxing. I really do. But I would be doomed if I can’t witness the ‘fight of the century’. I mean, I’m a Filipino, why shouldn’t I give our champ a cheer?  

Bottomline, I enjoyed the whole thing. Not the drama. Not the challenge. Not the filthy way of a game the other one had played. I enjoyed and had fun watching both of them accept and absorb each and every punch (although one was chickened). I enjoyed watching both of them in pain. Well, what they had felt should be a pain in the ass. But it’s with the pride and dignity they say.

The thing is, what I felt at that very moment was not as usual as others might say. Guess what, I was waiting bloodbath, that crimson flow of hot liquid gushing down from their head butted eyes to their red and sullen cheeks. But enough of this crap.

Now, just let me relay things out in the lager scope. I know that ‘twas not just me. I mean, lots of us want to see pain. See violence. That one knockout punch. Lots of us want to see lots of other people in the brink of grief and agony.

And honestly, I just can’t understand why lots of people do things their own way, even if it means aggravating the other. I just can’t get it why lots of individuals go astray just to dig deeper for their own graves. I mean, the reason of your existence will be put in great jeopardy if that’s the case.

On the other note, I still can’t fathom the reason why most people indulge themselves in pain. In violence. In that war freaking thing. I just can’t get it why lots of other people enter the realms of the unimaginable pain just to contribute for one array of race from another. Come on! We’re humans, not chickens or dogs or whatever. The hell were they doing that for? Fame perhaps? Or for the recognition?

Nonetheless, these things are, no matter how darn hard we try to convince ourselves that it does not exist, it does. And it is, in one way or another, happening normally. Not just in boxing, but everywhere. You can’t hide inside your nutshell not to witness things first hand.

Oh! And I am not exempted. I shall never be. Because I enjoy things like that. I feel the fun watching people feel pain. But I ain’t a sadist nor a masochist or anything in between. I am a normal individual in a pure dynamic, violent environment. I am in between clinging on the matter of inflicting and accepting pain.